Saturday, January 29, 2005;

Don't you juz hate it when things change OVERNIGHT? Dad told me last night i won't be gettin a car... which changes the plans to working and saving money... and doing more photography practices... i feel stuck... back to the days of walking down that stupid road... this time it's different... i'm not allowed to stay overnight in the property anymore... so even if it's late, i'm going to have to walk back if no one picks me up...
And i feel the responsibilities on my shoulder getting heavier n heavier... the thought of having to support Mindy n Marc after i finish..... not going to be a light task... 'cos i know how much it takes...
So no more dream of a photography job because on most listings for those kinda jobs, they say CAR ESSENTIAL.... i'm hopping VideoEzy will be hiring when i get back...
'cos i know i won't be motivated workin in a clothes shop or supermarket...
Back to the days of having to rely on others for basic transport... n be at the mercy of pple who might be early or late...
I was hopping if i had a car, i'd be able to go out to the beach to just get some inspiration and chill and be out of the house for a while with some time to myself... but not anymore...
I hate being late for classes... i'd like to go to class early n just calm down before it starts... hate rushin in and then having to calm down n miss out on what the lecturer says in the beginning...

What will happen to my outdoor shoots? am i supposed to lug my cameras and tripods around and walk and take public transport? I don't know... life's going to be very different... very tough... last 2 yrs i had pple around me in the same course who had access to cars for our shoots... but not anymore this yr...
Seriously... if i survive this yr... i'll be really amazed... almost couldn't take it last year when things weren't all that bad...

This yr, responsibilties greater... lesser resources for me to use...
more pple in the already-mad-house... being a 3rd yr... the first yrs will look up to me for example... and if they're older than me n dun allow me to have the authority that i'm supposed to have... That will be end...
I hate it when pple judge u by your age and your looks...... so what if i'm short and i'm female...
what makes u think i can't be a good camera person that u don't even give me a chance to prove myself... or think that what i say does not have any value just because i'm TOO YOUNG or YOUNGER THAN U... and they say there isn't much discrimination in today's society... LET ME TELL YOU... they are wrong. And it's present not just in Singapore, it's present in Australia too... prolly in other countries of the world too... places where i so want to go to but don't know how and when...

ok.. stopping here 'cos it's really getting a little too much for me to handle... till then...




rambled at 11:52 PMY

Friday, January 28, 2005;

So nothin much happened the past 2 days in my life that's why i didn't blog... but guess what! i got my license in the mail today... not that impressed with the picture but hey it's still a license... haha
so here it is...


Question is: Why do pictures in cards always look so.... umm... yuck? the colour's pasty.... and i looked like i just saw a ghost or something...

well well.. i was also going through my phonebook last night 'cos i had to get someone to help me do something in sydney... then i realized... out of so many numbers on my list, not many would be able to help me... or should i say willingly... n for those of u in Sydney who are reading this... the key word here is NOT MANY...
Guess it can get quite sad... and another that went through my mind is this: should one get into trouble and turn to their friends, how many would actually stand by you and how many would turn away or even pretend that nothin happened and carry on with life? Yes you may have many friends... but how many are close enough to know how you really feel? And care so much about you that every moment spent together is having their focus on you and making you feel like a better person and not all about themselves,? If only everyone was like that, then this world would definitely be a better place.

And no i'm not saying that every friend around me is like the abovementioned kinda friends...
:)
I've got many good friends out there and i'm thankful for that... :) Those of you, you know who you are... And thank you for allowing me to enter your life...

Hmm... was also thinking while having my shower... How much of a difference have i made in the lives of others? What things have i done and accomplished that i can be proud of... To tell you the truth? I do not know... well... you might say alot... but then maybe it's my own high expectations that I feel I haven't tried hard enough... Ok enough of that depressin stuff...
Been thinking too much...
Maybe, just maybe a little too much for my own good...
All I know is, i'm going to put in more this year... prove to pple out there that I can do it... a little less partying and cruizing... more extra time in shooting "expeditions" and reading, and writing a few more scripts. Who knows what might come up for the next tropfest? Thanx to my forgetfulness that i missed the dateline of the last...

Oh yes... went to town this afternoon... and when i looked at my reflections in the mirror, i felt Yuck? I THINK I NEED TO QUICKLY GET BACK TO SYDNEY N START ON MY ROUTINE AGAIN... i'm feeling FAT... and even pple around me say i have more meat on my face.... NOT A GOOD THING :(
Oh.. went to the Nike Factory Outlet and guess what! I SCORED A JACKET! hahaha 20buckaroos... would prolly have cost more but haha i can fit into kids wear here so thus the cheaper price...




On a lighter note... we saw a very funny sign in town today... too bad i didn't bring my mp3 along 'cos if not i would have taken a photo... the sign from the chinese restaurant says this: We deliver and take away... does this mean they deliver the food to you and before you can do anything with it, they take it away? Or do they want to say that the restaurat does Delivery and allows take-aways? If i had a photo of it, would have sent it to Rove live for their WHAT THE? section... hahaha

OK enough for today... think this entry's too long... Plus a splittin headache... :




rambled at 9:34 PMY

Tuesday, January 25, 2005;

been a lazy day today... woke up early though 'cos i think my stress levels are suddenly going up... i dreamt that i was doing my 3rd year research paper but the only connection to the net is a dial up and the stupid pages are taking ages to load, and then i realized... i didn't have a topic to write on... RIGHT... school has not started and i'm at this stage... :( not a good sign... slacked in front of the TV with lots of food... weather gettin colder, think i'm eating more too... then drove down to the city in a wagon... a little scary 'cos it's longer than the normal cars i've been driving... or so i thought but it wasn't so bad... went to a craft shop and kinda got some ideas of something i wanna do... 'cos i'm missin suci, sam n jian ming... wonder what are they up too now... suci's prolly busy packin his stuff... sam n jm, not sure.... i feel like eating... Fried Oyster omelette now :( arrr IF ONLY I COULD TELEPORT... den i'll stay in Singapore for evenings and nights, teleport back in the Morning for school.. and maybe teleport to America for a job in the noons... and on weekends i can teleport anywhere in the world just for fun.....

Oh welll okok snapping back into reality... life in perth besides the eating n dad n bro's company... n the driving... boringgggggggggggg...... there's nothin much even on cable tv.... like hayden said, it's really bad when u're already bored and there's nothin on the tele that can entertain you... SAD... especially if u havent got your own car and can't go anywhere when u want to. :( And tomorrow's Australia day... public holiday....... WORSE... SHOPS WONT BE OPEN and pple in the city will be drunk and what nots... sigh...

Ok Signin off here for now to go start on my craft thingy... :)




rambled at 8:15 PMY

Monday, January 24, 2005;

Michelle's got HerPs (Herpes) hahha ok internal joke from my class... When a female (Her) gets her Class C license, (Probational = Ps) they say she's got herpes... and No we don't mean that disease... went for the last phase of the testing system before gettin my class C license... ha... nice... came back n had lontong for lunch... yummy...
My dad's collegue's wife came over for lunch and we went out... drove her car... hmm a 4 cylinder n 6 cylinder car feels so different... good that i'm getting this chance for all the different experience...
*yawn* i'm so tired and true enuff, i've got a black-n-blue on my leg from swimming yesterday...
haha u muz be thinkin i'm nuts or somethin but i'm juz tryin to kill time so here's a pic of my bruise...



think i strained my back a little too... 'cos it hurts now... also think i caught a cold frm watering the plants in the cold wind earlier... but oh well...
right now... i'm juz glad i've got this license thing settled... haha
It feels quite different driving on the Ps just after getting it. In my mind... i'm actually thinking hmm.. no more Ls for excuses. When u drive on Ls, pple stay away from the car as much as possible and u can take your time... but hey... once u get your Ps, they expect u to be as experienced as them, no one but u or pple close to u knows that u just got your Ps... like in my instance... drove in my Ps juz 2hrs after getting it... and boy does that added level of expectation add stress...
No... i have to get over it....... be confident 'cos if not, i'll go no where... Oh well... just have to have more practice... n juz make sure i make wise judgement fast enuff..
haha signin off here for now and concentrate on Extreme Makeover... :)
Hopefully my back feels better tomorrow...

Oh yes... i'll post a pic of the actual Ps when i get it in the mail... i'm juz holdin a temp P on paper... Hopefully my hair wasn't too messy and my smile wasn't too cheezy...




rambled at 8:56 PMY

Sunday, January 23, 2005;

Hahaha... one of my dad's collegue had the vcd set... hehe i'm so happy
somethin to do tonite... to those who know what i mean... hahaha :) hmm it was so hot today... think it got to about 36deg cel. Dropped Marc off at the golf course today... he's got a week packed with golf sessions 'cos he's taking part in a competition next sunday... Hmm went marketing with dad and picked Marc up again...
When we dropped him off, there were two fire engines on standby for the predicted bushfires but when we went back 2hrs later, the fire engines were juz leaving.... Imagine this... just as they were leaving their post in the other direction and we were turnin out of the golf club... the trees started going up in flames and they had to turn back... ahaha how ironic...

Went to my dad's collegue's place for a swim... 'cos it was so hot and the couple had bought a water polo set... Haha had fun there... I had to get up to pick up the ball a few times but the worse part was the concrete was so hot... I ended up jumpin into the pool... BAD Mistake... It wasn't very shallow... but i think i jumped in a little too hard, i ended up banging my kneecaps on the floor... *sob* came back n went to church and went to Sorrento Quay for dinner... yummy chilli mussels... hahaha
OKok
Back to PCK PTE LTD... hehehe
:)





rambled at 8:58 PMY

Saturday, January 22, 2005;

hmm woke up this morning to an empty house... marc went diving with a gang of air force personel and dad went out fishing... they came back around 11... and we went out to Perth city and i drove his car there... Oh yes.. before that, we went to KMArt and got a bbq pit...


haha pretty cool folds up to the size of my crumpler bag... or maybe a tiny bit bigger...
BBQs at my place when i go back... jUz imagine this k... HYGENIC... and this new baby... gets rid of the oil n fats from your meat... as the aussies always say... Awesome mate...
oH yar... THorpe thinks it's fully sick..
Hahaha came back in the arvo and washed the car... spent about an hour doin that and den had chee chiong fan for dinner... I'm now sitting at the comp juz slackin n stonin..... tryin to brag about my new bbq... and the smell of my neighbours who are havin a party and bbq... mmmm bbqed onions... n sausages..... Imagine this... they are 2houses away... and the cars are parked all the way to my front porch....... haha ok lah... not that bad... when we have parties... the whole street's packed... oh well hope they dun make too much noise tonite 'cos i need my beauty sleep.... :)
Signin off here for now...




rambled at 7:57 PMY

Friday, January 21, 2005;

Went to bed real early yesterday 'cos i had a headache... guess i should try to start going back to Sydney's bed time 'cos when i get back there, i have only 1day to fine tune my body clock system and it's back to full on college days... I've decided... I'm going to work real hard this year... possibly the last year of education for a while... who knows what i might do next year? Woke up this mornin with a fever :( Not a good thing... drove around only for an hour and couldn't really take it anymore... afternoon was spent a my bro's school getting school books n stationary n stuff.... OH YES... When i woke up this mornin, the feeling finally set in that i'm now in Australia and about to embark on the next chapter of my life...
How the feeling set in? Wierd way, one might think... 'cos i suddenly realized I'VE GOT NO MORE MOISTURE ON MY FACE N IT'S NOT SMOOTH ANYMORE... Welcome back to the days of smacking heaps on moisturizer on your face michelle... and watch your lips for those cold sores too... yuck... to think i didn't even have to moisturize my face in SG... not that i'm lazy or anything but so far, the only moisturizer i can use is not cheap... sigh... oh well...

haha... had a mango frappe today... yummy...
But i'm missing the mango tango i shared with suci in SG... u can't compare it...
imagine this... ICE BLENDED FRESH MANGO PUREE... with added mango cubes... urgghhh even the thought of it is so yummylicious...
Yes yes... suci.. i know wat u're about to say: "careful hor... mango very heaty one"
hahaha
chants: "MANGO MANGO MANGO MANGO MANGO"

Kinda bored... dad went fishing n marc's juz watching the black box... somethin about Samurai swords... boring... lookin forward to America's Sweetheart on the black box in 45mins time...
Till then... i shall continue surfin ard on the web...





rambled at 7:49 PMY

Thursday, January 20, 2005;

Argh... can't let this continue... the frustration keeps building up... almost got into an accident today... 'cos i didn't do a headcheck while changing lanes... THE MIRRORS FAILED ME... Da guy i go drivin with kept laughin whenever i did a headcheck n said i did not have to... THIS TIME, HE'S WRONG... can't see the blindspots in the mirrors... doesn't he realize that's why they call it the blindspot? urgh... hate it when he laughs when i ask legitimate questions... feels like he's mockin me or sumthin...
Drove into the city and there was this irritatin asian dude who was listenin to his music and crossed the road without caring that there were cars travelling and no, he was not at a traffic light? IMAGINE STROLLING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD... Argh. I was about to honk at him to warn him but Daniel said: "NO! DON'T HONK AT HIM... GOD TEACHES US TO FORGIVE" argh... if it was not for me and some other impatient driver, he would have gotten run over... Marc was sittin in the back seat n he said: "honk him honk him"... Guess what Daniel said? "By right, the person sitting in the back seat have no right to comment" WOah... did marc get angry... sigh but the two of us kept quiet till we got home... I Was so mad i felt hot flushes comin...
Marc said a very good thing... he's so religious... if he got slapped, would he really turn the other cheek literally?
Dun mean to be mad but this religious spirit fustrates me... I MEAN HE SAYS IF I SPEED BY 2km/h when i'm going downhill... i'm breaking the law and God does not allow you to do illegal stuff... but this is comin from a guy that's said when we first met him... I CAN STAY ILLEGALLY FOR 7 YRS THANKS TO GOD'S HELP....
SO MUCH CONTRADICTION......... RAHHHHHhhhh i was so tempted to turn around n scream.... geeee

okok enuff of complaining... this has to stop... anyway he wont be here for long...
i shall stop ranting and go take my shower to cool done..




rambled at 9:26 PMY

Wednesday, January 19, 2005;

ARGH this is FRUSTRATING... the longest drive i've ever taken... abt 3 n a half hrs today non-stop... startin to feel like an Ahmad(malay for taxi driver)... I HATE IT WHEN OTHER DRIVERS THINK THEY CAN PUSH NEW DRIVERS ARD... HATE IT HATE IT HATE IT... absolutely detest those who call new drivers names n are impatient with them... ESPECIALLY IF THEY HONK AT U AND GIVE U A SHOCK... RAHHHHhhhh

Anyway... the guy who took me driving? As much as he's a nice guy... i'm startin to find it irritating... no not him... the religious spirit in him.... not that i wanna judge or anything... but he's been prayin all the time i'm driving... n he doesn't do it loud but it's like a whisper... Arghhh... i mean yes speak in tongues all u want but for a whole 3hrs and add to that... it sounds the same throughout that same few words... PLUS THE LOUD SMACKIN OF THE LIPS DURING THE BREAKS? sounded like chanting that makes me sleepy... argh...

Yea it's good to love God n stuff but go overboard n even Christians get turned off... really like
"Shandai Handai... God tie my bowtie..."

Oh well enuff about upsettin stuff...
last nite wasn't all too bad... dad needed to pass something to a friend and got me to drive his car... Boy was it scary... drivin a 3l car... and havin him sit next to me n puttin me through a "test"... came back home n he actually was happy n even gave approval to drive his car into the city... NICE MATE NICE....
anywayz i wonder what will happen tonite... i'm getting bored here... Stuck in the house today n can't even open the windows for air because it's so smoky...
oh well... signin off here for now to concentrate on watching MTV...





rambled at 4:09 PMY

Tuesday, January 18, 2005;

One more day gone past juz like that... woke up n went drivin for about 3hrs... came back basically did nothin n decided to get off my butt and start doin up this log so it can look a little more presentable. Refuse to let anyone see it in the basic stage because THAT'S JUZ NOT ME... n trust me... this wont be the last... now that i've finally gotten a hang of HTML... I WILL CREATE MY OWN SKIN... wahaha... it's juz a matter of time... but now that i've got loads of time on my hand besides the random driving lessons... i'll juz make use of it... who knows what my life will be like once term starts... don't quite know if i'm lookin forward? The amt of stress i'm tryin to handle before i start is already growing... gee if i get through this yr........ IT WOULD BE A MIRACLE...




rambled at 9:33 PMY


Wahaha finished 4hrs of driving today... drove up to Yanchep n some place called Seabird in WA, saw a school of dolphins and the sun was sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo hot i juz couldnt do anything after comin home frm the drive...... my bro n i juz sat at the couch n comp n lazed all day.. burnt my hand on da oven while trying to take out those miserable potato gems... n i finally feel sooooooo good after my radox bath... That'z about all for today... wonder what will happen tomorrow...




rambled at 12:07 AMY

Sunday, January 16, 2005;

2nd day back in Perth... still having mixed feelings 'bout leaving... and missing people back in SG... Oh well what do u do... still kinda feels like a holiday 'cos i'm not physically back in Sydney... prolly will hit home when i get to Sydney but i guess i'll juz have to take things one step at a time...




rambled at 10:31 PMY

profile;

Michelle Tan
2nd August 1985
Workaholic
Random



wishes;

WISHLIST WORLD DOMINATION
A brand spankin new VW GOLF
A home theatre system with da whole she-bang
A HVR Z1U
A mac mini for show
An iPod photo
A 17inch 1.5GHz Powerbook G4
A Dual 2.5GHz Power Mac G5
2x 23inch Cinema HD
Canon EOS 1Ds MarkII
Canon Pixma iP8500
Wacom Intuos.3



tagboard;





links;

Cousin Clarice
Michael Oo
Josh and Emma
Lise Barth
Deeleea
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Jene & Therese Hamahona
The Rumende Family
Jeff Crabtree
Sharon Toh
Hayden Pannell
Jonathan Boyd-Bell
Jeremy Martens
Damian and Lizette Driessen
Lek Koon
Mavis




other links;

My school
Aussie home church
Singapore home church
My primary school
Singapore's Straits Times
Australian Film Commission
Arts Law Centre of Australia
Australian Writer's Guild
Internet Filmmaker's FAQ
Metro Screen
Internet Movie Database
Christianity Today
Currently my fav. site... GADGETS...
Stock Images

archives;

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credits;

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