Thursday, May 31, 2007;

I never thought I could be so concerned...

note to self: Its all going to be ok....




rambled at 8:53 PMY


I was thinking this morning, it would really suck to be a possum! hahaha

Yes sounds random but no its not... just read the next section

I was driving home from work this morning around 1am... so I was tired but was still alert... as i was turning into a street, I had to slam on the brakes and swerve... because there was a possum in the middle... at the same time, there was a taxi coming the opposite direction who also did the same... and as I slammed on the brakes, the possum ran in the opposite direction... so I managed to dodge the possum... but the possum however, did not have such good fate... it ran right into the wheels of the taxi... so there was the screech of the tires... and then as the taxi moved off, i looked back in my rear vision mirror, and all i could see was squashed fur...


eekkkkkkkkk




rambled at 3:45 PMY

Wednesday, May 30, 2007;

sigh... it's the end of May.... almost half the year's gone... Time goes really quickly this days... I wished I had more time to do what I have to do...

Its been a few interesting weeks and there are some things that I was hoping for results but still have not seen any... I guess I just have to be patient and wait...

Today I was reminded that capacity is equivalent to patience... so maybe my capacity is still small in certain aspects of life... I guess sometimes it takes time for us to have our patience built up, tried and tested before the circumstance becomes bigger.... for if one's capacity does not meet the circumstance, one could blow up... OUCH


Sigh... not to self.... go a little slower please....

Billy Joel's Vienna

Slow down you crazy child
You're so ambitious for a juvenile
But then if you're so smart tell me why
Are you still so afraid?
Where's the fire, what's the hurry about?
You better cool it off before you burn it out
You got so much to do and only
So many hours in a day

But you know that when the truth is told
That you can get what you want
Or you can just get old
You're gonna kick off before you even get halfway through
When will you realize...Vienna waits for you

Slow down you're doing fine
You can't be everything you want to be
Before your time
Although it's so romantic on the borderline tonight (tonight)
Too bad but it's the life you lead
You're so ahead of yourself
That you forgot what you need
Though you can see when you're wrong
You know you can't always see when you're right(you're right)

You got your passion you got your pride
But don't you know that only fools are satisfied?
Dream on but don't imagine they'll all come true
When will you realize
Vienna waits for you

Slow down you crazy child
Take the phone off the hook and disappear for a while
It's alright you can afford to lose a day or two
When will you realize...
Vienna waits for you.

And you know that when the truth is told
That you can get what you want
Or you can just get old
You're gonna kick off before you even get halfway through
Why don't you realize...Vienna waits for you
When will you realize...Vienna waits for you



Hmmmmmmmmmmmm.......




rambled at 11:57 PMY

Thursday, May 24, 2007;

Today's been a veryyyyyyyyyyy veryyyyyyyyyyyyyy good day...
I feel like I've finally broken through a barrier... an invisible one at that... I know I'm probably still walking in the valley... but I've had a few boosts that will keep me going, and it will take alot and i mean A LOT... to wipe this smile off my face... This journey's been tough, and I know it will be tougher, but I am stronger... I know I can do it.

Ok for those who have not heard, 1. I received an email today regarding the Masters application. I've been accepted, classes starting July. I need to get a bit more paperwork done before then but should not be a problem.

I was walking around the offices sharing the good news, I went down to the Cafe and ordered lunch... a $5 BLT burger *oh sooooo goood* and as I was waiting for it to be ready, I got a phone call from the immigration lawyer, who had tried calling yesterday while I was teaching. They called and informed me that my visa had been granted, despite the fact that 3 days ago, they called to tell me that I was 1/3 approved for the visa, and I had to get chest xrays and medicals (which I was about to book in for this afternoon, but would have meant that I had to spend another few hundred bucks). They told me that for some reason, the Immigration Dept. had decided to overlook all the conditions and grant me the visa.

So this 5 month wait has been fruitful... the work, tears, sweat, blood and stress have all paid off... including all the paper cuts from getting Applications ready!

This is the year of Favour! and All things work together for good! God's faithful n I know I'm blessed...


So I thought I'd share what I wrote in my application, that probably gave my application a boost:

Q: Please Outline your reasons for applying to this course
A: It is my desire to develop my skills to an advanced level, have a better understanding of new technology and the trends of contemporary media, as well as improve my ability to combine multi-cultural approaches (e.g. Easter and Western) into the art form. I believe that the course will allow me to better my skills in the medium through workshops and the exploration of film theories and production processes. The theory levtures will enable me to balance my practical knowledge of production processes, and give me the abiltity to critically analyse films. Having experience in both digital video and stills photography, I am certain that the introduction to 16mm film in the Studio Practice Seminar Modules will boraden my experience and allow me to apply knowledge in 16mm film in my future projects and work place.

I believe that the Film Theory Modules and the Memory Time and Identity elective will facilitate my passion for bringing together different cultures into a single story on film. Giving me the ability to have a better understanding of story telling through perspectives in the story. Having a basic understanding of the Heroes Journey in Script-writing, I know that enrolling into the Creative Writing - Scriptwriting Workshops will allow me to have a higher level of skill in Script-writing, for application into my future projects. I will also be enabled to have more skills to pass on to my future students.

I believe that at this point in time, I have the motivation, energy, desire and resources at hand to complete the course. I know that the successful completion of this Masters will be an invaluable enhanvement for my future career and be a significant credential for future training purposes. It will also provide the opportunity for me to discover and explore futher the voice that will tell stories of the Eastern and Western cultures and give me the ability to contribute more to and have a greater influence on contemporary society.







Ha reading that excites me! Who would have thought... the person who didnt do too well academically in Primary n Secondary school, would have finished a degree... and move on to a Masters...
I know the reason why... i've found my passion and what drives me...

MINDY TAN SHU YING... Listen to ur big sister... START THINKING ABOUT WHAT U WANT TO DO IN LIFE! :P I know u think i'm just nagging again but i'm being SERIOUS!!! U kinda have 1 more year to think about which path u want to take... so choose wisely...

Oops... now i think i live up to the nickname i get from some of my students... YODA... hahaha

Right... back to work... just thought i'd share that exciting news...

in Dolly Chan of Under One roof's accent: SO es-ci-tiiing...




rambled at 10:54 PMY

Wednesday, May 23, 2007;

wheeeeeee.............
Michelle's elated... and that's a good thing... :)




rambled at 9:03 PMY

Tuesday, May 22, 2007;

I hate frozen green peas... eeekk




rambled at 6:08 PMY

Monday, May 21, 2007;

The brownies were well received... even at 9am... when its normally too early for chocolate...

I'm sitting here in an office that smells like a dead something... not quite sure what it is yet n property team can't seem to find it... I actually noticed the smell 2 days ago but its becoming stronger :(

Its actually put me off my lunch this afternoon but there ain't nothin i can do...
Anyway its almost 6pm and i'm sitting in the office with my laptop hooked up but MSN web sucks... and same goes for microwave dinners... what do u do when there's no one else to cook for... its so flippin boring....
Stir fry chicken with hokkien noodles... McCain's Healthy Choice style...hahaha looks good n smells good until u put it in the mouth... *bleahhh*

Another late nite tonight... so I'm chillin while i eat my dinner 'cos once i go into full steam, I wont be stopping...

Last nite was my first nite I was home at 10.30pm... but could not fall asleep until about 1am :(

sigh... life n its interesting little twists....

I was chatting with a friend on the phone... and she mentioned that I'm in my life at the moment where there so many things are up in the air and that it must be annoying... and I agree that it is annoying... but hopefully soon some of the ends will tie up and then I can move on... and hopefully there will be good news... although some of that good news might cause those around me to be upset... But it's ok... If its for me... it will come eventually... all in good timing...
One day, initiatives will be taken... and I won't have to push so hard anymore...
One day, people will understand... One day, someone will be proud... One day, someone will appreciate what I do... One day, my dreams will come to pass...

I just need to remember to keep walking... this tunnel is not as dark as it was anymore because there is a bit of hope...

My creative juices need to flow a little more too... need to see how we can improve what we do here...




rambled at 5:39 PMY

Sunday, May 20, 2007;

hmmm my dark chocolate merlot cranberry brownies smell soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo good.... whahahaa





and u have to admit it looks prettty darn good too.
:)




rambled at 2:50 PMY

Friday, May 18, 2007;

So even though its been a rough week, I'm still standing and have had a little bit of a boost today, despite only having 2hrs sleep last nite or should i say this morning...

Got to work at 9.30am and worked non-stop till 3.45pm when I realized I did not have lunch, so I sent the work-experience student off to get me some lunch. Second day in a row I've had a Bacon and Egg Sandwich with BBQ sauce for lunch... Yes I know sounds wierd cos its normally for breakfast... but when u're as busy as me, who cares what time is breakfast... plus, breakfast is like one or my favourite meals of the day because its not as rushed as the other meals...

Had to re-shoot some stuff today because someone had accidentally rewound the video in the camera to take a look but didn't put it back in the same spot... and the pple who went out to shoot while I was teaching class did not check too... sooooooooooooo the things that were initially recorded got recorded over!!!

Back to the boost, I've created a breakthrough in regards to YouTube videos at work and an email was sent around...

Here's a section of what was said in the email trail:

-----Original Message-----
From: Deelea
Sent: Friday, 18 May 2007 12:55 PM
To: PPP
Subject: Michelle Tan has created perfection

Hi PP
Michelle has encoded the latest cctv video to test and it looks incredible. It hasn't been made public yet because there are changes being made, and because it's a bit early but if you want to check it out log in to the cccof YT account for a look.

D

From: PPP
Sent: Friday, 18 May 2007 3:09 PM
To: Deelea
Subject: RE: Michelle Tan has created perfection

Awesome. Great job. Go Michelle!
Even looks good in full screen mode.
The script now needs to be tidied up so the presenters are looking up to the video quality.
Hmmm. One thing leads......
Love you guys.
Phil P


From: Deelea
Sent: Friday, 18 May 2007 4:41 PM
To: Michelle Tan
Subject: FW: Michelle Tan has created perfection

Kudos to you!



So as you can see, sometimes all the anguish is worth it... even if it meant trying different encoders while u're half-awake at 4am...
All we have to do now is to keep it up...


Also for a certain someone in my circle of friends, the drought has been broken... which hopefully means it will also break the same drought for the rest of us... If you don't understand, DON'T WORRY! Nothing harmful... only for that circle of friends who were listening to get it. :)

So at this hour in time, i've clocked 74hrs of work in 5 days...come to think of it, it's kinda scary.... and the workload is only just starting to increase... more so in the next few months... plus an extra class to teach in Semester 2...

I wonder how my application is going for the masters... Heard back from the Immigration Lawyer today... Step 1 of 3 of the paperwork has been approved...

Anyway my work here is almost done, so I shall end this blog.... and remind myself that THE CAMELS ARE ON THEIR WAY BACK HOME... :)




rambled at 8:50 PMY


Sigh.... rendering kills me... its taking 8mins to render 352 frames, an equivalent of 15secs worth of video :(
STOoooopid Motion...

Its been a long week... its like being on a mental n emotional rollercoaster... and now that its 2 1/2 hrs into Friday morning, and the fact that i'm still here at work waitin for a stupid clip to render, makes me wonder, why the hell can't someone just create a program that does not require rendering??????? WHY????? If I had the brains, I WOULD DO IT!!! soooooooooooooooooooooo many editors would be so grateful...

grrrr....

Also, whoever said teaching was easy? I don't think i've ever felt so drained emotionally and mentally... Now i feel for my teachers in the past who tried teaching me chinese... or accounts... -_-

Anyhow... the wedding that we went to shoot at was interesting... it showed us what NOT to do for your own wedding... 1. Lousy MC and boring 2. UNORGANIZED 3. unprepared speech... 4. Your singers NEED to know the words to songs they are singing, or at least remember to bring the flippin' scores!
However, one good thing that came out of that event was the introduction to the song Call off the search by Katie Melua. Beautiful song with meaningful words...

"Call Off The Search"

I won't spend my life
Waiting for an angel to descend
Searching for a rainbow with an end
Now that I've found you I'll call off the search
And I won't spend my life
Gazing at the stars up in the sky
Wondering if love will pass me by
Now that I've found you I'll call off the search

Out on my own
I would never have known this world
That I see today
And I've got a feeling
It won't fade away

And I won't end my days
Wishing that love would come along
Because you are in my life where you belong
Now that I've found you I'll call off the search
INTERLUDE
Now that I've found you I'll call off the search [x2]


Copyright Katie Melua


Reason why i'm still blogging is because the other computer crashed while i was trying to create the video... so its rebooting now.... but because the programme is soooooo big it takes quite a while to load the application... :(

Anyhow... Hopefully i get home before the sun rises, and I'm not planning to come into work in the morning... -_- Will come in maybe 10 or 11am...

Right... the other comp's done loading... so back to work... till laters...
Too many things in the head and heart but not quite sure how to put down in words...




rambled at 1:36 AMY

Saturday, May 12, 2007;

2nd night in a row that it's almost 2 n I'm still up... had 1 hr sleep last night as there was too many things going through the head. Just got home from helping Ting's sons with their school art project... so I spent my entire evening Cutting and Constructing Pyramids, creating "humans" with wire... the boys went to bed at 11am but I kept going, and ended up at the same time chatting with Ting till 1.15am.

I don't think I'll ever understand how she feels... losing a loved one and having to bring up two full-on kids, and at the same time, have the kids ask difficult questions like, Why does daddy have to die, and where is heaven? I salute her and am amazed at her strength and courage... I guess your survival skills all just kick in when you have to go through something like that... We bought her a box of chocolates and a bouquet of flowers today for Mother's Day...

So many things have been changing around me lately... and the atmosphere's been shifting... scary yet at the same time exciting... I've had a major understanding of some thing that's happening at the moment and have come to the realization of the weight of what this thing might do to my future... Hopefully in the near future, there will be good news...

Anyway I should retire to the bed that is screaming for me....
and at the same time, remind myself that THIS TIME NEXT YEAR, THINGS WILL HAVE CHANGED...

I have to drive more than an hr tomorrow to shoot a wedding... and not worth the money at all.. oh well see it as an investment, to many more recommendations, AT THE RIGHT PRICE. -_-




rambled at 1:50 AMY

Thursday, May 10, 2007;

I'm elated
*silly smile*

^^
u

But pls michelle... BREATHE........ don't go overboard and kill it for yourself!
Note to self... BE SMART!




rambled at 10:54 PMY

Wednesday, May 09, 2007;

15mins ago, after putting down the phone, I felt like a little girl who got her dream barbie house as a present... Or like a kid who has been handed a bit lollipop with his favourite flavour...


random? Never Mind... only I have to understand, because it probably only means anything to me... but i wonder if it means anything to the person at the other end of the line...




rambled at 4:15 PMY

Friday, May 04, 2007;

Having approval feels really good... but i must remember to go slow...
Note to self: Don't run too quickly! Don't spoil it for yourself...

Now lets see where it goes from here. :)




rambled at 10:05 PMY

Thursday, May 03, 2007;

when your potential is under pressure, do not take it to a place of limitation. Instead, take it to a place of expansion. DO NOT RETREAT!




rambled at 9:00 PMY

Tuesday, May 01, 2007;

Just had a very random thought

Singapore celebrates Labour Day by giving everyone a public holiday, but not in Sydney...

So here's a very novel idea... what if everyone worked ONLY on labour day and not for the rest of the time.... how bout that eh?


Hahaha ok... obviously bonkers... think its time to go home...




rambled at 10:34 PMY


I locked my freakin' car keys in the car today at the chiropractor!!! So much for a safety feature... caused me more trouble instead... I do have to admit... the brain's not really functioning...

1/4 finished with designing the company's website... more tedious than I thought... oh well I know what I want so that's fine... I'll just keep at it...

Graduation Excitement's over... same for the Party n celebrations... but I have somethings to look forward too... some of which I shall reveal when the time is right... New things on my radar keeps me excited....




rambled at 12:26 AMY

profile;

Michelle Tan
2nd August 1985
Workaholic
Random



wishes;

WISHLIST WORLD DOMINATION
A brand spankin new VW GOLF
A home theatre system with da whole she-bang
A HVR Z1U
A mac mini for show
An iPod photo
A 17inch 1.5GHz Powerbook G4
A Dual 2.5GHz Power Mac G5
2x 23inch Cinema HD
Canon EOS 1Ds MarkII
Canon Pixma iP8500
Wacom Intuos.3



tagboard;





links;

Cousin Clarice
Michael Oo
Josh and Emma
Lise Barth
Deeleea
Kathryn Dixen
Jene & Therese Hamahona
The Rumende Family
Jeff Crabtree
Sharon Toh
Hayden Pannell
Jonathan Boyd-Bell
Jeremy Martens
Damian and Lizette Driessen
Lek Koon
Mavis




other links;

My school
Aussie home church
Singapore home church
My primary school
Singapore's Straits Times
Australian Film Commission
Arts Law Centre of Australia
Australian Writer's Guild
Internet Filmmaker's FAQ
Metro Screen
Internet Movie Database
Christianity Today
Currently my fav. site... GADGETS...
Stock Images

archives;

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credits;

designerblog
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