what's wrong with you?

Friday, June 30, 2006;

Just had dinner with the screenies... not everyone turned up unfortunately... oh well.. leftovers went to a doggy bag for Pam and Stephen... will take Pam's to her tomorrow night at the 80's performance...

We had.... buk choy, brocolli, tom yum squid, honey,ginger n tomato chicken, black pepper chicken... n apple crumble...
Couldnt taste anything 'cos of the cold... but they were all happy... so that's good...

But for now... i shall go to bed... 'cos i'm runnin a temperature... n my back's killing me.... was just waitin for the bed to warm up...

So till laterz...

rambled at 10:49 PMY

Thursday, June 29, 2006;

Woohoo!!!! 1 semester's over...
Essays n exams over for now... until... next week i think... we have an exam in the intensive weeks i'm sure...
Just got the cold today... guess its kinda good in timing... 'cos i have this weekend off... No state library for a while...

But now that I know what it takes... I'll be more prepared in the future semester and will have better management...

Oh i hope i do well in these 2 essays that have just been in... Ethics should be fine... but hopefully i'll still get to keep the distinction...

hmmm have the screenies coming over tomorrow night for dinner... simple faculty dinner... should be good

Why is it that everytime before i invite people over for dinner, i have to be sick the day beforE?

Oh went to Chatswood after work today... dropped Niall off at the train station... and Anita n I had dinner out... couldnt be bothered cookin tonight after all that assignments... i bought a shirt frm supre for 10 bucks...

Right... bed time for me.. and i've used up so much tissues its scary....

rambled at 11:16 PMY

Sunday, June 25, 2006;

so... u know u've lost it when u almost put liquid soap on your toothbrush instead of toothpaste...
Yes... that's what i did yesterday...
Went to the library with Dee n spent the whole day there... had maccas for lunch n had food poisoning after and was sick for the whole of yesterday afternoon and night. Slightly better today and at work...trying out something new and capturing straight to the hard-drive, trying to get rid of another process...So that i can let it render today and start cutting tomorrow, rather than come in tomorrow and capture it off the tape onto the hard-drive...
Also doing a paper edit at the same time... which should help me do things faster....

Struggling with the exam preparations and all the assignments but i'm sure i'll get through it...
Decided I will not spend too much time on the exam because its only 20% of the total... and the other 2 assignments due are 60%....
Ethics should be fine now... 40% of it was the essay which i got a distinction for... but hopefully after the bell curve, i will still retain that... I'm kinda annoyed that because some people do not care and not put in as much effort, its going to affect the results of those who put in the effort... 1 point could make a whole lot of difference. It could push u across from a pass to a credit... and a credit to a distinction... or a distinction to a high distinction.... BUT IT COULD GO THE OTHER WAY ROUND AS WELL.....ARGhhhhh......

Anyway... found out on Friday from Suci that Jian ming's dad had passed away... kinda shocked me but it wasn't as bad for me as a lot of others... I knew that he was sick but most weren't.... Called him last night... and he seems to be fine... but he will need support after it all when he returns to a home all by himself... and i know it will take time to adjust and accept things as they are...

Anyway....
hopefully today will be productive... still have lots to get through and don't have lots of time 'cos i'm directing again tonight... oh well... lets just see what happens.....
1wk to go....

rambled at 10:29 AMY

Monday, June 19, 2006;

Oh don't u just hate it when you say stuff to someone else, make a commitment....... put down the phone... and then suddenly realize what you just got yourself in for?

That's what i just did...

Oh well... maybe this might lead to something good? Who knows eh?

Anyway was just studying... today hasn't been all too productive..
but the little productivity i had with my reading... i just have to say...... OH MY GOODNESS...
Learning about the Renaissance seemed to be a chore at first... but now that i'm at my second essay with it...

GOSH those artists were smart back then... and the work they did... MEZMERIZING...
Its almost as if everything they did... was done through careful planning.... just they way they placed objects in their images and the "hidden" messages in them.... i'm am in awe...

now... why can't I be that smart...

Almost another meltdown today after realizing i spent the entire morning's work for nothing because of an audio glitch at the end of the programme...

Went out, got some fresh air... while i got the envelopes for the invites.... and bought myself a snickers bar for lunch... and to keep me sane... 'cos they say chocolate makes u feel happy...
well... maybe.. but i just had to get away from the edit suite and everything else before i went crazy....

rambled at 9:45 PMY

Sunday, June 18, 2006;

The weekend was very... interesting...

ok doesn't sound convincing huh...

Well... friday nite i decided i had to go do some research at the library.... so i went into the state library all by myself... took me longer than expected to get there because there were track works.... ARGH... so i had to change buses at town hall station...

Found quite a bit on my topics which was good... and left at 3pm...
Got back to the northern beaches... and went grocery shopping before heading home.
Was about to put down the groceries when i got a call from Therase asking if i knew that I was on for directing, 20mins till service started.. and of course I had no idea because this was an extra week i was down on duty... no i'm not usually like that and i'm not complaining that it's bad that I am on for 3 consecutive weeks... i was just upset with myself...'cos the one week i did not look at the roster is the one week i did not realize i was on....

On top of the different pressures from all aspects of my world... that did not help....

So I went in, opened the control room, got therase to cover the service for a bit while i went back home n put the groceries in the fridge and freezer... Picked Emma up from home earlier than i initially said 'cos i now had to go back and cover the service... so that therase could set up cameras for cafe connect...
The setting up for cafe connect was a little crazy as well 'cos therase did not organize it well beforehand... so i was running around trying to organize a tripod... and tapes all at the last min... Well Therase realizes her mistake so hopefully this will be a last...

Lauren's play was good... and i enjoyed it but because i had such a full-on week.. and the close-to-many meltdowns during the past 2 wks... at the end i just had to leave, go home and be alone.....
AND I DID JUST THAT 'cos i knew that if i didn't... i wouldnt have survived today...

Oh And today was First Fruits sunday... so we had a huge luncheon... and i was running around shooting stuff.... so last night's alone time was good 'cos i wasn't that bad today... or at least did not come close to loosing it...

Got home ard 4.30pm... vacuumed the house and cleaned the kitchen 'cos i had enough of seeing a dirty house... now my back aches...
Had dinner... N i have to say... i have decided i do not like green peas.... -_- they are yuck especially when they are in instant soups.... grosss....

Did some online research as well... drew up the guest list for the birthday party... wrote the invites...
And now... typing this...
But it is close to 9pm....
and i have other things that i need to move on to.... so..... I'm off for now...

rambled at 8:39 PMY

Wednesday, June 14, 2006;

Oh gosh... i've just been sucked into the internet blackhole... surfin of the web... for the last 15mins
well at least i'm proud to say THE ESSAY IS FINISHED...
And at least i know to stop 'cos my eyes are going "ku ku" after staring at the screen for more than half a day...
Was looking at Friendster and it's kinda scary how so many primary sch or secondary sch people that i recognize that are either married, or have kids... or look/sound like they're about to get married...
And to see all the photos from 21st birthdays...

Argh.... time has gone by too quickly...
and I do have to admit, although I have accomplished quite a bit... there's still more to go...
The learning just never ends...
and to think in exactly 7 weeks time, it'll be my turn to step across the line of the 21s.... Don't know whether i'm feeling excited... or nervous... or..... scared... or.......

argh... see i'm thinking too much... again...

right... bed time for me....
Till another time....
maybe not tomorrow as i have a whole list of things to complete by 5pm... and the tv programme to finish by 3... on top of meetings -_-

Oh and i had another thought this morning too...
I cannot believe i'm doing full time study in a degree level... and working the equivalent of a full time job as well...
Once again... i am surprised at how i'm handling it... of course God's strength is needed
and in 2 wks, 1 semester is over....

And more than half the year's gone... ok shhh don't remind yourself!!!!

rambled at 11:21 PMY

Hsemate no. 1 is watching Big brother... which i think is junk n a waste of time...
n i'm finishing up what's left of my ham n cheese sandwich from lunch...

note to self: close to stale ham n cheese sandwich DOES NOT... and i repeat does not taste so good...
n maybe because i've been having ham n cheese sandwich for the past wk... -_- EVERYDAY...

i am so close to finishing the essay for tomorrow...

Got embarrassed this morning when the Big Big Big Boss pulled me out to say something about why i liked where i was...
And i was so nervous i don't know what I said... something along the lines of people being really accepting but will not be afraid to reprimand you when you do something wrong... BUT WHAT I WAS TRYING TO SAY WAS.... THAT THEY DO NOT CONDONE YOUR BAD ATTITUDE (OR WHATEVER ELSE U CALL IT)... BECAUSE THEY LOVE YOU AND WANT THE BEST FOR YOU...
AHhhhhhhh i embarrassed myself... -_- oh well...

oh we had staff drinks today... no... no alcohol... just mocktails n nibblies... It was good 'cos it allowed staff to mingle... again for the 3rd time in the day... once at staff meeting, second during Cake cutting in the cafe, and then staff drinks.... this is one of the most unproductive week in terms of the TV programme... Public hol on Mon, Yesterday was class n meeting, Today, staff meeting, babysiting, cake, lunch and staff drinks... tomorrow... class n meeting and i think i'm looking after Jevon tomorrow night? Or maybe having dinner with the family? Not sure 'cos it wasnt stated in the sms... The Text just said that Jevon was wanting to play with me... n wondering if i'm free tomorrrow night... ANd i said yes only 'cos i knew that the essay was going to be finished as it was due on THurs Noon... hahaha So....... I'll have to make sure i get the programme done by the afternoon -_-

Right... essay time....

rambled at 7:09 PMY

Monday, June 12, 2006;

A little emo today...
Yes i'm feelin the pressures of the assessments... and the exam...
and maybe a little of the workload... wondering how i'm going to keep up during the whole week of intensives...

just watched the movie Luther... and boy am I glad we've done away with Indulgences... imagine if that system was still around... we'll all be horrible horrible people, living fearful lives...

well... kinda had the inspiration to finally look up info for the Masters....
at this point of time...
I found 2 that could be a possiblity....
http://datasearch.uts.edu.au/international/courses/details.cfm?spk_cd=C04107&spk_ver_no=3

and

http://www.usyd.edu.au/sca/mfdi.htm

Maybe i could get RPLed for some of the subjects for the first one...
When i get the chance... i'll enquire.. maybe when life quietens down in about 5 weeks time....

Bummed that AFTRS have not changed their policy to allow International students... BAh... they loose out i guess... hahaha
ok no... i'm not implying that i'm that good...

and i should go make an appointment to see the immigration lawyer... Maybe?
There's a possibility i've got enough points to apply for PR...
Muahahahah Michelle's cunning plan...

Well i HAve been here long enough for goodness sakes...

Right it's bed time for little miss michelle now that the bed's all warmed...
Or should i say... half the bed is warm 'cos i've only got a single size electric blanket and i've got a queen sized bed...

Till tomorrow (maybe...)

rambled at 12:08 AMY

Sunday, June 11, 2006;

its 5mins past 1am.... and i have just finished reading 150 pages worth of articles...

Another 100+ pages to go...... that i shall attempt to finish tomorrow....

Good thing is... i still havent been sick from the coffee... 'cos i did make sure that it was VERY VERY weak... took out the bag the moment the water started changing colour...

And It is has kinda helped me stay awake... although my neck is super sore from all the looking down for the readings since this arvo in the library....

Time for bed.... and i'll update on my progress....
I'm quite happy with how it's going at the moment.... I got the essay all planned out... and i know where the info and ideas i've got from tonight's readings are going under the different sections....

WHO WOULD BELIEVE THAT I'M DOING ART HISTORY... actually neither can I.........
give me geography any time and any day pls...
History does my head in.....
because it reveals too much of the leading up to whatever happens in the world today...
Ok... michelle... stop thinkin too much...

And it does make me want to go visit Europe again... 'cos before i read all these articles... I saw art differently... Now i just wished i took more notice when I was there... But then again, that's the opinions of many in the class too... regrets...

Although, i must admit, it's kinda cool cos i now know where rituals of the catholic church come from... and how the reformation all started.... Go Martin Luther!

U should take a look at the dining table... it's not quite a dining table anymore... for the past weeks, it's been my assignment desk.... Oh... n the chair's breaking... i can feel the wood through my bottom... so i'm sitting on a pillow...
I had a random thought earlier... what if i sat so long in this seat doing this essay and not move... and the chair finally gives way... creating a hole through the bit where there's only foam (or should i say broken foam) but no wood... I would look hilarious... being stuck in the chair with my legs n arms in the air... Now... THat would be a scene worth putting down in the history book i reckon... maybe... it could be part of an Installation?

ARGH.... right... need to stop thinkin art for a while... stop thinking about art... stop thinking about art... stop thinking about art...

BAh i have to direct service tomorrow nite.....
Right........
BED TIME.....

rambled at 1:38 AMY

Saturday, June 10, 2006;

Ok... 5 mins for this blog entry... so fast typing here... but its fine 'cos i've been practicing with the essay n research....
Spent the whole day with Dee at the State library and spent another $7 on photocopy... Damn this essays get a bit expensive...
I even reduced the size so that both pages fit onto a page! My poor eyes... went with Dee after to Graham Hickson's Place 'cos she had to pick up something for work... walked from the lib to the apartment... which took us abt 20mins...
wouldn't mind living in an apartment again i think...

Just drank a cup of coffee so that i can continue my readings...
Yes... I know... shouldn't be drinking it 'cos of its effects but hey... at this point of time, i'm still not sick... maybe later on i will be but hey, if it keeps me up so that i can read and do my essay... WHY NOT...

Besides... my brain's on an overload at the moment... too much information....

And the cold weather's affecting me... so I sit in front of the heater when i study... if not it's as if my brain's too cold and freezes up and refuses to work... so the hot air on my face actually makes me feel even more lethargic..

Oh.. the shoot on Friday with the Big Big Big boss went well... i only felt embarrassed 'cos he commented that the camera was almost as big as me... n because it was cold outside, i had my big jacket on... but the heater was on in the building, so while trying to balance the camera, keep him in focus, listen for the audio and his voice... I WAS PERSPIRING LIKE A PIG....
Argh..

the bad thing about winter...

Ok... time's up... back to reading...

rambled at 8:02 PMY

Thursday, June 08, 2006;

hmm looks like i'm making a habit of this... sitting up in bed and blogging on the lappy... since I found out that my airport actuallly works...
It's just so much more convenient than turning on the desktop computer...

Anyway, just came back from Macquarie Uni's library with Emma... think we did quite well tonight. Got quite a bit of resources up our sleeves.
We now know how the system works and I did a research on their catalogue before i left so that we didnt waste any precious time...
About to go to bed but thought i'd blog and let it all go instead of dwelling on it...
Came back home and had a rude shock... first, standing outside the door, I could smell a funny smell... at first I thought it smelt like durians... but then i thought... where in the whole of Australia could u get durians that even smelt...
Second, I fiddled my keys in the dark 'cos someone forgot to turn on the outdoor lamp... Third I try and open the door but didn't need the keys cos i discovered it was left unlocked...
FOrth, As the door opens, the smell that i smelt made me worry 'cos i now thought it might be gas...
As i step into the house, it felt like i had stepped into a bubble of air filled with gas... dropped my stuff on the ground and ran to the kitchen and sure enough, The gas knobs were not turned off properly... No fire or anything, just the pungent smell of gas... i immediately opened all the windows n doors and then phoned bonar n anita...

They left hte house at 3pm... so from 3pm, the doors been unlocked...n the gas leaking... Bonar reckons he might have accidentally knocked it out of position while cleaning up after he cooked...
and no it wasnt one knob... it was 2... out of 4...

Thank God everything's fine... but Not happy jan... not that i know who jan is...
sigh... imagine if my house was near the road... and someone had walked past n decided to throw their cigarette that was still burning...

Sure u'd think no one would do that but hey, look at one of CCTV's clients did... threw a cigaretter near the grass in a production break, went back in to do a record, and started a mini-fire on the grass to the side of the building..

hmm i really should get a new laptop batt..
it just dropped from 45% to 2% in an instance...

Tomorrow's my first morning off...
needed a break 'cos exams are near, assessments are due, asthma's been acting up... and i woke up this morning and could not physically move because my whole body was so sore....
It hurt to just touch my arm...
So i'm taking the morning off... maybe get up at 8.... have some breakfast at the table unlike the past weeks since i've been back from Thailand... and start on my readings of the resources i got today...

Then at 1pm... i have to go shoot the BIG BIG BIG Boss... and after the shoot get the material on a dvd immediately...
and a meeting at 3pm.. hopefully i'll be back by 6 to have some dinner... n finish my 1/4 of a watermelon....... and then....... keep on going with the assignment...

Sat would be spent in the state library again... but this time hopefully i'd know where i stand in the essay and can pin point the rest of the resources i need... already put 4 books on set aside so it'll just be sitting there waiting for me to get it on Sat...

Long weekend... Queen's birthday...
Not that the Queen knows its her birthdya in Australia.. Care factor of ZERO...
But u know what? I dun care... 'cos it's a public holiday which means another extra day for the assignments... 'cos most mondays i work in the morning n teach from noon to evening... by the time i'm home... i'm too buggered to do an assignment, unlike last week when i had no choice...

oH well enough ramblings... i shall go to bed now... n i can still smell the gass..... -_-

rambled at 10:51 PMY

Wednesday, June 07, 2006;

I'm sitting in bed n typing... think this is a first as far as I can remember? But I could be wrong as memory tends to fail me this days because i'm so tired... and because i've had information overload day after day... Never really used my laptop for the net on wireless...

Was in the car with Dee n Lise just now on the way back from the State library... n for some reason, my mind just went blank n i couldnt remember lise's name... even though i've known her for so long....

In fact, i'm typing with one eye closed at the moment because the light from the screen n the bedside lamp's hurtin my eye...

Going to Macquarie uni's lib tomorrow night with Emma... hopefully get more info there.... didnt get to spend much time in the state lib... but we're going back there on Sat....

And i'm going to warringah lib on friday on my own.......... Thank God Monday's a public holiday and i don't have to teach.....
And for the fact that the essay's not due on tuesday but on thursday seems to make my life a little less stressed...

It's really cold... thermals are out... and so are the scarves that have been hidden for the past months... in fact i hardly used them last winter... but oh this time's different... looks like a very wet n cold winter.... Aparantly it's 5deg some mornings... so i wont be surprised if it actually decides to snow one day? Maybe??? or maybe just hail... ok Hail's more likely...

I'm tired but typing this blog because i'm hoping marc will call me back.. i just pranked his fone... 'cos i'm keeping my phone usage to a minimun at the moment ;cos i think i might cross the cap at any time n they will cut off my phone....

Today's payday... so that's good... n i'm now official staff..

But here's a very very very sucky thing...

I NOTICED ANOTHER 2 DENTS ON THE PASSENGER SIDE OF THE CAR, NOT FROM THE TIME I BADLY SCRATCHED IT... BUT THIS IS FRESH... WITH WHITE PAINT ON IT..... WHICH MEANS... SOME I****** DRIVER SIDESWIPPED MY CAR... N ESCAPED.... JUST LIKE WHAT HAPPENED TO MARC NOT TOO LONG AGO... SO I'M QUITE UPSET... NOT ONLY OVER THAT BUT OVER QUITE A NUMBER OF THINGS... WELL MORE STRESSED AND DISAPPOINTED THAN UPSET... THUS THE CAPS IN THIS SECTION... but it's ok i'll build a bridge n cross over it....

Rent's due in a week... n so are all the bills....
Argh....

Right... bedtime....

rambled at 10:36 PMY

Tuesday, June 06, 2006;

Ah... that's one assignment done....
Finished at 4am this morning.. no not because I still had a lot to do for it... but because I have just gotten the Student Handbook... and was trying to format my essay...

And being the usual me, I was not happy with the way some of the paragraphs were sitting so fiddled with it quite a bit.
Took me way to long to write the bibliography because i had so many resources... i think i had at least 20. In fact i'm sure I had more...

Today's been quite unproductive... in fact, it's always the case for Tuesdays because between 11am and 2pm, i sometimes have admin stuff to do... and after the 2pm tutorial, I go straight into a 2hour long weekly meeting... By the time i'm back at work, it's 5pm.... n close to the time that normal people with normal lives live.... Not that i hardly ever leave at 5.30pm... Think besides Friday, the earliest i've left the office was 6.30pm last thursday, only so that I could write the essay.... And that was quite a rare occassion.

Here's the miracle of the day though.... I left before Stephen did..... Oh and besides last friday...
Had a nice dinner... rissoles... and spoke to him on the phone for close to 1 hr and 45mins... yes.. the phone bill.. i hope the cap still works???
Oh but it was worth it though... i feel so much more human after I talk to him.. sure work always gets brought up... but like he said, at least i'm not talking to the computer... Hahaha i told him that actually i do.. and sometimes they talk back.. No not quite... and if they did... I WOULD FREAK OUT...
And last nite too, we spoke on the phone for about an hr as he was helping me with the proof-reading of the essay...

Well... seeing that I spent so much time on the essay, I HOPE I GET MORE THAN JUST A CREDIT.... i know of too many people who only did it the night before and yes i would be spewing if my efforts didn't get recognized... ok i know I tried my best... but still...... Its going on the transcript damn it... Or maybe i wont get a transcript????

Quite a number of students have not handed in the essay yet... 3% lost every day... what a waste...

Anyway, 2 more big essays to go... one due in a few days.... so better get on to it..
Another Library trip tomorrow night...

And the Debate next Tuesday in tutorial that we havent' beeen prepared for properlly...

And an exam... with 2 essays....

SO.... FOR THOSE OF YOU OUT THERE THAT'S READING N REMEMBER, PLS PRAY FOR ME....
getting snowed over...

and another $75 flew out of my account today... had to get my car fixed because of engine oil leakage...
I'm leaving a mark everywhere i go... There's a Michelle spot at work now... SO NO ONE PARKS IN MY SPOT... OR ELSE.... no not really... hahaha If i could make my own spot, then i'd have drawings around the border of the spot.... of........ Maybe a film strip??? hahaha

Argh... miserable weather and i need more warm clothes....
Hopefully after the essays n the exam i'll get time to go to the mall and get another jacket... A black one pls...
and hopefully it'll be on sale too???

Bought Simon n Kaye lunch at the mall today before they left...
They came for Michael Trilby's recital and gave me a shock of my life as i had no idea they were coming. Only found out when Simon randomly tapped me on the shoulder when i was trying to set up for the night... IN THE CLOSE-TO-NONE light... and all i could see was a shadow.... n a tiny bit of features....

Right... 10past 10pm... At least i got my references for the library tonight...
SO MUCH FOR READING... Bahh

Its ok i'll get stuck into it tomorrow... Argh Topic that i don't quite catch... Art history... some parts are cool but some just... tedious and...... confusing.. especially since most of us do not have a background on it.

OH well.. i'll tackle the essay tomorrow.... as i get back to multi-tasking at work...
Starting to be really good at it too..
Think all the computers hate me...

rambled at 9:41 PMY

Sunday, June 04, 2006;

Took a 4hr sleep before continuing my essay this morning... Going well and about to finish...

Just finished breakfast and here's something interesting...
It takes longer for milk to enter the same biscuit as it does with water...
wierd i know... but u know whoat?! I don't care that i'm delirious 'cos i'm allowed... This academic writing thing is driving me bonkers!

and yes it is freeeeeeezing here.... i'm wearing three layers and seated in front of the heater because if i have cold air on my face, i cannot think... Ah... maybe my brain cells freeze up. OK back to the writing... 25mins to go till i get ready to go out...

rambled at 8:37 AMY

Saturday, June 03, 2006;

wireless internet ROCKS BIG TIME!!!
i'm sitted at the dining table after a long long day and about to start writing my essay that is due on tuesday

I'm tired and it's cold... n i've been sneezing lots...

Oh some old man at a deli shop near the State library gave me a bag of lollies today when i bought a small carton of chocolate milk because I was starving....

Trip to library was good... it's not as big as the national library in SG... but nonetheless still quite good...

Ok now that the house is quiet, i can concentrate so back to the essay....

rambled at 8:06 PMY