Don't you juz hate it when things change OVERNIGHT? Dad told me last night i won't be gettin a car... which changes the plans to working and saving money... and doing more photography practices... i feel stuck... back to the days of walking down that stupid road... this time it's different... i'm not allowed to stay overnight in the property anymore... so even if it's late, i'm going to have to walk back if no one picks me up...
And i feel the responsibilities on my shoulder getting heavier n heavier... the thought of having to support Mindy n Marc after i finish..... not going to be a light task... 'cos i know how much it takes...
So no more dream of a photography job because on most listings for those kinda jobs, they say CAR ESSENTIAL.... i'm hopping VideoEzy will be hiring when i get back...
'cos i know i won't be motivated workin in a clothes shop or supermarket...
Back to the days of having to rely on others for basic transport... n be at the mercy of pple who might be early or late...
I was hopping if i had a car, i'd be able to go out to the beach to just get some inspiration and chill and be out of the house for a while with some time to myself... but not anymore...
I hate being late for classes... i'd like to go to class early n just calm down before it starts... hate rushin in and then having to calm down n miss out on what the lecturer says in the beginning...
What will happen to my outdoor shoots? am i supposed to lug my cameras and tripods around and walk and take public transport? I don't know... life's going to be very different... very tough... last 2 yrs i had pple around me in the same course who had access to cars for our shoots... but not anymore this yr...
Seriously... if i survive this yr... i'll be really amazed... almost couldn't take it last year when things weren't all that bad...
This yr, responsibilties greater... lesser resources for me to use...
more pple in the already-mad-house... being a 3rd yr... the first yrs will look up to me for example... and if they're older than me n dun allow me to have the authority that i'm supposed to have... That will be end...
I hate it when pple judge u by your age and your looks...... so what if i'm short and i'm female...
what makes u think i can't be a good camera person that u don't even give me a chance to prove myself... or think that what i say does not have any value just because i'm TOO YOUNG or YOUNGER THAN U... and they say there isn't much discrimination in today's society... LET ME TELL YOU... they are wrong. And it's present not just in Singapore, it's present in Australia too... prolly in other countries of the world too... places where i so want to go to but don't know how and when...
ok.. stopping here 'cos it's really getting a little too much for me to handle... till then...
