the moment of truth has arrived... I've lived alone for the last week and so far I am enjoying it... I like how things stay where I've left them... and I've had my first house guest..
But today... just 30mins ago... i suddenly felt this overwhelming sense of helplessness and maybe a little of loneliness... Not so much in the home environment... but at work...
Micah's left the job for good... and Anita, my housemate of 3 yrs, is leaving tomorrow for good... Another time of transition for me, and I hope I'll cope... its just too many things piled up together, and people all leaving at the same time... in 4 days, Bonar leaves for good too...
No I'm not depressed... just a little overwhelmed and a little emotional...
I never thought I'd admit it... feels like something's been ripped out... a little like I've been left in the lurch...
What did it for me was walking in the cold, dark foyer... when it was only 5pm... and there was no one else around, not a sound or a being... I thought keeping busy will stop me from going there... and I haven't done much to keep my plates full... its just FULL all on its own....
but I can't stay in this state... i have to move on... there's too much work to do... many changes to make... broken things to be fixed... people to look after... a burden to carry... a studio to run... TV programmes to be made... emails to answer...
Surely I have enough strength to get through... surely I won't crumble and fall...
