seriously... i don't want to be the person that says no all the time...
It seems like at the moment, that's all I'm saying to people with requests...
Don't want to be seen as the pessimist...
But I don't want to run myself down into the ground...
Can I handle this pressure?
Am I bigger than this?
Will I stand and have the strength to keep walking?
Is there a light at the end of this tunnel?
Are these shoulders too small? Am I too young? Am I not experienced enough?
I've just had my first break since 8.45am this morning...
meetings after meetings... and now i finally get to sit down and have a meal... a frozen meal at that... curry that is not at all spicy... rice that was frozen n thawed...
No once again, this is not a pity party.... i just needed somewhere to rant and rave... there's no one else here in the office... J's out somewhere watching a movie... K's sick... C's on holidays... I've been on the phone with N and it kinda settled me down a bit... not as stressed as I was prior to the conversation...
I wrote a to do list this morning at 2+am... and so far, out of 36 items, I have accomplished 12... the rest needs to be done by the end of this week.... and.... Its only Tuesday... the list is bound to grow as the week progresses, not to mention the Conference stuff that needs to happpen...
The next 2 weeks look crazy and immediately after, I start Uni...
But maybe the pain is worth it...
_____________________________________________________________________________________
3rd Grand Aunt passed away this morning...
Yes I feel sad... because she was nice to me... times like these make me wish I could be back in Singapore and have a bit of a breathing space to grieve... as much as you like to deny... whenever someone u know passes away, you feel a sense of grieve...
But today I haven't given myself the chance to stop... and think... But now that as I'm writing this, I've slowed down and realize how much a death could affect a person, even if you haven't spent loads of time together...
I know 3rd Grand Aunt always asked about me... and i think she worried about me being far away alone... and it makes me even more sad... knowing that I cannot say goodbye face to face...
I now urge all of you readers... appreciate the people around you... don't wait till its too late... life can be so vulnerable... tell those u care that you care... verbal or non verbal, make the effort... because if its too late, you cannot turn back time...
_____________________________________________________________________________________
To end on a lighter note before I get straight into work.... its nice to be told that someone actually cares...
